Jul 2006
25 07:13am
Farmer: Lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka na. Ano ang balak mo itanim sa sakahan mo anak?
Anak: Flowers papa!!! Madaming madaming flowers! Pretty di ba?!
Jul 2006
25 07:12am
Bobo: Pare hulaan mo ugali ko, nagsisimula sa letter A.
Pare: Approachable?
Bobo: Mali!
Pare: Amiable?
Bobo: Mali pa rin!
Pare: O sige siret na!
Bobo: ANEST wehehe!!!
Jul 2006
25 07:12am
In a pet shop, customer is talking to a parrot…
Customer: Hoy! Can you talk ha??? Bobo!!!
Parrot: Yes I can!!! Ikaw??? Can you fly ha??? Gago!!!
Jul 2006
25 07:11am
1 panget na babae, hinoholdap…
Holdaper: Holdap ito! Akin na gamit mo!
Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
Holdaper: Anong rape? Holdap nga to eh!
Babae: Wala lang! Nagsusuggest lang…..
Jul 2006
25 07:10am
Patient: Doc takot po ako sa bunot.
Dentist: Eto gamot, pampatapang ng loob.
Patient: (ininom ang gamot)
Dentist: Ano matapang ka na ba?
Patient: Oo doc! Langya pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko basag ang bungo!
Jul 2006
25 07:10am
Killer: Father, mangungumpisal po ako.
Father: Ano kasalanan mo?
Killer: Pumatay po ako ng 20 tao.
Father: Bakit?
Killer: Kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos, kayo po naniniwala ba?
Father: Dati…pero ngayon trip trip na lang.
Jul 2006
25 07:09am
Pare1: Pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!
Pare2: Nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe.
Pare1: Swerte mo! Ano problema mo?
Pare2: Pare, ako nanalo!
Jul 2006
25 07:08am
There what it takes to be. Then we shall so be it because it is. To do or not to is in the what, now or what else. Without which there never to you!”
-Â words of wisdom from Senator Lito Lapid
Jul 2006
25 06:43am
BF: May malaki akong problema.
GF: Wag mong sabihing problema mo lang, problema natin dahil nagmamahalan tayo. Ngayon, ano problema natin?
BF: Nabuntis natin si Inday at tayo ang ama!
Thanks to Reina Sison for sharing this joke. 
Jul 2006
14 07:43am
This is not meant to discriminate either Filipinos or Americans. It is what it is - a joke…
A Filipino is having breakfast in a hotel in France one morning… he was eating bread & jam when an American, while chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Pinoy ignores the Kano who, nevertheless, starts a conversation:
Kano: “You Filipinos eat the whole bread??”
Pinoy (nayayabangan sa Kano): “Of course.”
Kano: (after blowing a huge bubble) “We don’t. In America, we only eat what’s inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the Philippines.”
The American has a smirk on his face. The Pinoy listens in silence. Still the American persists.
Kano: “Do you eat jelly with the bread??”
Pinoy:”Of Course.”
Kano: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). “We don’t. In America we eat fresh fruits for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the Philippines.”
The Pinoy (asar na talaga) asks: “Do you have sex in America?”
Kano: “Why of course we do.”
Pinoy (now smirking): “And what do you do with the condoms once you’ve used them?”
Kano (a bit puzzled): “We throw them away, of course.”
Pinoy: “Ahh….We Pinoys don’t. In my beloved Philippines, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them into chewing gum, and sell them to America!
