Apr 2007
19
04:02am


A 70-year old ‘lolo’ from the province was accompanied by a grandson to the US Embassy in Manila for his VISA interview.

The lolo spoke not a word of English so the grandson translated for him.

The Consul told the young man to ask his grandfather why he wanted to go to the States.

“Bakit daw ho ninyo gustong pumunta sa Amerika?” The grandson translated.

“Sabihin mo gusto kong makita yung mga anak ko doon.”

“He said he wants to see his children there.”

Fair enough, that’s what the lolo’s application indicated.

The Consul had another question. “Ask him why does he have to go there? Why can’t his children just come and visit him here?” The grandson translated this in Tagalog.

Lolo replied: “Sabihin mo kasi dito pinanganak yung mga anak ko.

Nakita na nila ang Pilipinas. Gusto ko namang makita ang Amerika bago ako mamatay.”

(Translation: “Tell him, my children were born here. They’ve seen the Philippines already. I just want to see America before I die.”)

The HEARTLESS Consul was unimpressed as he declared, devoid of any motion, that he was rejecting the visa application “because the applicant was unable to speak any word of English.”

“Reject daw yung visa ninyo kasi hindi daw kayo marunong mag-Ingles.”

The lolo was equally unimpressed. “Sabihin mo ito sa kanya at huwag na huwag mong papalitan ang sasabihin ko: “Putang ina niya, bakit siya nandidito eh hindi naman siya marunong mag-Tagalog!?”

Translated, “He said: You son of a bitch, how come you are here… you do not know how to speak in Tagalog!?”

Taken aback, sense of humor still intact, the consul relented and approved lolo’s visa application in pronto.

go LoLo…mabuhay ang Pinoy!!!



Toothpick

Posted by Mike Lopez under Pinoy Jokes
No Comments
Apr 2007
18
05:29pm

AMO: kelan lang tayo bumili ng toothpick, bakit naubos agad?

MAID: ewan ko po mam, kapag ako po ang gumamit sinosoli ko naman ah!


Basketbol

Posted by Mike Lopez under Pinoy Jokes
No Comments
Apr 2007
17
05:28pm

ADIK: Doc, grabe yung panaginip ko gabi gabi, kasi lagi daw ako nanunuod ng basketball.

DOCTOR: sige halika may gamot ako para dyan.

ADIK: Wag muna dok, championship game na mamaya eh!


Bakit maalat ang dagat?

Posted by Mike Lopez under Pinoy Jokes
1 Comment
Apr 2007
16
05:28pm

JINGGOY: Dad, bakit ba maalat at may asin sa dagat?

ERAP: Sinadya yan ni Lord para sa ganun hindi mapanis ang mga isda..


Anong pulutan?

Posted by Mike Lopez under Pinoy Jokes
No Comments
Apr 2007
15
05:27pm

PEDRO: Anong pulutan nyo kahapon sa birthday mo?

JUAN: Pata!

PEDRO: Wow! Anong klaseng pata?

JUAN: PATA galan ng kwento!


Kape o Tsaa?

Posted by Mike Lopez under Pinoy Jokes
No Comments
Apr 2007
14
05:43pm

SA RESTORAN…

CUSTOMER: Waitress! Ano ba ‘tong binigay mo sa akin, kape o tsaa? Lasang gas ‘to ah!

WAITRESS: Kung yan ay lasang gas, Kape yan! Ang tsaa kasi lasang pintura!


Asia’s…

Posted by Mike Lopez under Pinoy Jokes
No Comments
Apr 2007
13
05:43pm

PILITA CORRALES - Asia ’s Queen of Song.

LANI MISALUCHA - Asia ’s Nightingale.

REGINE VELASQUEZ - Asia ’s Song Bird.

GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO - “Mole of Asia ”


Bilis naman!

Posted by Mike Lopez under Pinoy Jokes
No Comments
Apr 2007
12
05:42pm

ERAP: Hello, I would like to inquire how long is the flight to San Francisco?

OPERATOR: Just a minute, Sir..

ERAP: Really? Thank you..


De Lata

Posted by Mike Lopez under Pinoy Jokes
No Comments
Apr 2007
11
05:41pm

JUAN; Tay ! Penge P20 bibili ako ng de lata.

TATAY: Anak, mga taga bukid lang ang gumagamit ng term na de lata! Englisin mo yan!

JUAN: Paano?

TATAY: KANG GUD!


Palitan ang Titulo

Posted by Mike Lopez under Pinoy Jokes
No Comments
Apr 2007
10
05:40pm

MGA JOB TITLES NA DAPAT NANG PALITAN:

  • PRESIDENT- pasimuno.
  • VICE PRESIDENT- kunsitidor.
  • SECRETARY- palsipikador.
  • TREASURER- kubrador.
  • AUDITOR- kasabwat.
  • PUBLIC RELATION OFFICER- tsismoso.
  • REPRESENTATIVES- pahamak.
  • SPOKESMAN- bolero.
  • SGT-AT-ARMS- tirador.
  • ADVISER- taga sulsol.

(mas tama di bah?)